Having a bad day????????????????
  • MeatonMeaton December 2007
    Having a bad day????????????????

    According to a news report, a certain private school in Cork was recently faced with a unique problem.

    A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Every night the maintenance man would remove them and the next day the girls would put them back.

    Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.

    To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.

    Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

    There are teachers.... and then there are educators.


    Things Got Ya Down? Well Then, Consider These .. . .

    In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 a.m., regardless of their medical condition.

    This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11:00 am Sunday, so a worldwide team of experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents.

    The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00 am, all of the doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books, and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits.

    Just when the clock struck 11:00, Pookie Johnson, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so he could use the vacuum cleaner.


    Still Having a Bad Day????

    The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez Oil spill in Alaska was $80, 000.00.

    At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers.

    A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.


    Still think you are having a Bad Day????

    A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places.

    Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.


    Are Ya OK. Now? - No!

    Two animal rights defenders were protesting the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn , Germany . Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly.

    The two helpless protesters were trampled to death.


    What?? STILL having a Bad Day????

    Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with "Return to Sender" stamped on it.

    Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.


    There now, Feeling Better????
  • dandan December 2007
    An old man turned ninety-eight
    He won the lottery and died the next day
    It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
    It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
    And isn't it ironic... don't you think

    It's like rain on your wedding day
    It's a free ride when you've already paid
    It's the good advice that you just didn't take
    Who would've thought... it figures

    Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
    He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
    He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
    And as the plane crashed down he thought
    "Well isn't this nice..."
    And isn't it ironic... don't you think

    It's like rain on your wedding day
    It's a free ride when you've already paid
    It's the good advice that you just didn't take
    Who would've thought... it figures

    Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
    When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
    And life has a funny way of helping you out when
    You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
    In your face

    A traffic jam when you're already late
    A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
    It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
    It's meeting the man of my dreams
    And then meeting his beautiful wife
    And isn't it ironic...don't you think
    A little too ironic...and, yeah, I really do think...

    It's like rain on your wedding day
    It's a free ride when you've already paid
    It's the good advice that you just didn't take
    Who would've thought... it figures

    Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
    Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out
    Helping you out

    -dan
  • Australian+WitchAustralian Witch December 2007
    I think this thread provided all of the concrete proof we need to say with absolute certainty:

    Dan is gay.

    <3
  • romerashromerash December 2007
    I thought it was obvious from his AIM name
  • dandan December 2007
    D=

    -dan
  • AnotherevilAnotherevil December 2007
    Wow that song was so GAY!!

    The lyrics not bad, but the song was so GAY!!
  • BrianBrian December 2007
    And it feels right this time
    On his crash course with the big time
    Pay no mind to the distant thunder
    New day fills his head with wonder, boy

    Says it feels right this time
    Turned it 'round and found the right line
    “Good day to be alive, sir
    Good day to be alive,” he says

    Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel
    Was just a freight train coming your way
    Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel
    Was just a freight train coming your way

    Don't it feel right like this?
    All the pieces fall to his wish
    “Sucker for that quick reward, boy
    Sucker for that quick reward,” they say

    Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel
    Was just a freight train coming your way
    Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel
    Was just a freight train coming your way
    It's coming your way
    It's coming your way
    Here it comes

    Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel
    Was just a freight train coming your way

    Then it comes to be, yeah
  • ErlingErling December 2007
    I personally really enjoy the part about the woman coming home to her husband and using a "handy plank of wood" to hit her husbands arm.
  • ArriaArria December 2007
    Thx man.. that did make me feel better... image/wink.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=";)" border="0" alt="wink.gif" />
  • MeatonMeaton December 2007
    Arria WORD U P!!!
  • BlueBoxBobBlueBoxBob December 2007
    QUOTE (dan @ Dec 8 2007, 08:18 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
    An old man turned ninety-eight
    He won the lottery and died the next day
    It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
    It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
    And isn't it ironic... don't you think

    It's like rain on your wedding day
    It's a free ride when you've already paid
    It's the good advice that you just didn't take
    Who would've thought... it figures

    Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
    He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
    He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
    And as the plane crashed down he thought
    "Well isn't this nice..."
    And isn't it ironic... don't you think

    It's like rain on your wedding day
    It's a free ride when you've already paid
    It's the good advice that you just didn't take
    Who would've thought... it figures

    Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
    When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
    And life has a funny way of helping you out when
    You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
    In your face

    A traffic jam when you're already late
    A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
    It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
    It's meeting the man of my dreams
    And then meeting his beautiful wife
    And isn't it ironic...don't you think
    A little too ironic...and, yeah, I really do think...

    It's like rain on your wedding day
    It's a free ride when you've already paid
    It's the good advice that you just didn't take
    Who would've thought... it figures

    Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
    Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out
    Helping you out

    -dan


    As no one did it yet .... Alanis Morisette !!!
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